Trade Stuff and Worry for Freedom

If I could trade everything I've bought to date for a financially independent future, I would do it in a heartbeat. 
If I could start with a clean slate; I would:
only have ~50 items of clothing; everything would fit perfectly
own one suitcase that flies as a carry-on
buy 5 acres of land for a hobby farm and save the proceeds to build a manor house
(alternatively, I'd buy the smallest house on the biggest lot I could find)
invest in rental property to produce a reliable stream of income
find a job I could work remotely
This is so hard; I seem to be lacking focus today
If I could already be done; if there were something I could do other than wait, I would be doing it already. 
Perhaps there is something I just don't see. 
It's only 139k more steps until the finish line but the first 210 or so has taken a toll and I am back to feeling this untoward sense of dread that my finances are not all I could wish of them. 
So, I can't start over but I can still strive to attain my goal.  Perhaps I need to look at the numbers for perspective. 
Let's see, in 2006, I bought the albatross for 282k, paying 2800 per month for the mortgage.
In 2008, my mortgage payment escalated to 3000 with higher rates to come. 
I sought to refinance and given my limited knowledge and time (I had to work to earn that 3k), I ended up with a bunk refinance job that essentially put me into debtor's prison via a foreclosure on my credit report, despite holding on to the house and debt and paying as agreed for all but the 3 months it took for the company to take my pleas seriously. 
After an additional 30k in fees, the loan was back on paper and I was still paying at least 60% of my salary for the mortgage.
In 2009, I rolled up my sleeves, stopped whining and decided to banish this bane as soon as possible.  To that end, I paid off my car loan and a modest amount of credit card debt (3k).  I then dedicated 80% of my salary and any additional money (TDY stints) to pay off this mortgage.

The rest is history, as they say.  I've been doing this for the past five years and it is getting tiring.  It isn't not spending money that is the problem.  Everything I 'want' could be purchased with less than a single paycheck.  I've even made a nice little list for you to read: 
Vitamix Blender $500
Brewing Supplies $200
Pressure Canner $300
Canning Supplies $50
Box Grater $20
Stock Pot $50
I couldn't spend all the money I earn in a month if I tried.  Even if I bought all the clothing I dreamed of, that would still fit into the same paycheck with a only one or two exceptions.  Other than that, I desire some unnamed intangibles; to-be defined accomplishments, journeys, trials and travails. 
Five years and one beautiful baby later, I'm married, employed in my chosen field, a mother, and yet, yearning for... something...adventure? travel? connection? freedom? self-expression?
 I am on this journey, putting one foot in front of the other and will keep walking until I reach my destination. Then what happens? 
So what is the rub?  I am unfulfilled and uninspired by my job; my enthusiasm a dull shadow of what I once felt for the field I work in.  Another unfortunate case of reality getting in the way of my dreams.  What is the solution?

First, I need to define the problem. 

Spring Capsule Wardrobe

Now Presenting my official Capsule Wardrobe for Spring (March 1st - June 1st): 

Clothing

1. Trench coat
2. Silk Shirt Dress
3. Wool Dress (too warm)
4. White Skirt
5. Green Skirt
6. Khaki pants
7. Jeans
8. Beige Cardigan
9. Teal Sweater
10. Gray t-shirt
11. Olive-khaki t-shirt
12. White Blouse
13. Political Party Blouse

 Shoes and Accessories

1. Straw Visor
2. Black loafers
3. Leopard flats
4. Espadrilles
5. Leather Sandals
6. Brown belt
7. scarves (2)
8. Leather Tote
9. Sunglasses

 Housework and Gym Clothes (worn only for washing windows, landscaping and physical therapy):

1. Canvas Shoes (Tom's if anybody cares)
2. Baseball cap 
3. Old Jeans
4. Faded Button down
5. Mesh shorts
6. Tank top

First, a few notes about the accessories.  I don't have a purse but carry my wallet with a ribbon tied to the zipper.  The wallet is large enough to cram my phone inside and makes a sleek clutch for hoity-toity evening dinners at the local Mexican restaurant.  I wear the visor every day.  I wear it in the car since my commute places me in direct opposition to the rising and setting sun.  I wear it on my twice-daily strolls.  I absolutely love it and am toying with the idea of obtaining another straw hat for daily use.  What ever happened to the utility of clothing anyway?  I have several types of scarves. Most of them sit around in a canvas bin.  I don't know how many I've worn thus far but I'll go on record as having worn a few although I doubt it was that many.  I am not an accessories girl but I would be if gloves become a socially acceptable means of self-expression or a genteel form of politeness and propriety once again.  The shoes all get worn in their appropriate places (on my feet); no sandals at work and no stuffy loafers on the weekend.  Finally, I need hosiery.  Two to three pairs of nude hose ought to set me up completely but I have yet to purchase.  It feels good to waffle in contemplation and indecision as long as possible since I have to buy new. 

The shocking thing is that I don't even wear all these clothes unless I try very hard.  For example, I've worn the white skirt once since creating this capsule five weeks ago.  Noticing this, I plan to wear the skirt tomorrow but not for lack of other clothing.  The silk shirt dress has never been worn outside the front of my mirror.  It is at the tailor's acquiring a more modest length to make it appropriate for work and bicycle riding.  The white blouse, cardigan and sweater only just arrived last week and the knits are on heavy rotation for days when it is cold enough but there aren't many.  The wool dress is also too warm for most days, when the temperature is above 60 degrees.  It is best kept for winter and retired after in February.  I am having a dressmaker create a second shirt dress for me.  This will replace the wool dress as soon as it is ready.  I love shirt dresses because they are so effortlessly feminine and appropriate for practically any occasion.  Speaking of occasions, I also have two party dresses which obviously don't make it into the heavy rotation and aren't listed here.  One was worn for my daughter's birthday and the other for Easter brunch and egg hunting with the family.

This month will no doubt fly by like the others and I will revise my wardrobe at the end of May with a view to summer.  By then, I hope to have acquired a second-hand khaki skirt to replace the khaki pants which are too pale and drab for me. 

This capsule will be refined as time goes on.  However, I do no plan to deviate from this template of ~20 clothing items with 10 being the ideal, assuming I can get someone else to do all my household chores for me.  I do not wish to own more clothes than listed here.  I think, perhaps owning fewer clothes would be even better.  If I won the lottery, I'd still try to wear these clothes out before even looking for a second-hand replacement. 

why does it take so much?

It is an ugly paradox that only those with an overabundance of money can fully realize its limited utility in life whereas those with a limited supply never fully grasp the concept.  Thus you have the poor and disenfranchized buying more and more new things at WalMart, trying hard to keep food (of questionable definition) on the table while those with an oversupply are able to transcend its limitations and free themselves from the yoke of

Changing Clothes

The problem with almost all my clothes is that they are unwearable.  There is no consistent 'story' or style although if you asked me, I have a good idea about how I want to look.
Sadly, in this world of infinite solutions, there is a disconnect between my purchases and the statement I want to make. 
I am too easily sidetracked by beautiful models (honestly) and imaginings about how I envision my daily life.

I've absolutely neglected to buy anything I can put on in the morning and wear to work.
Honestly, there is always this disconnect between how I imagine I will look wearing something and the reflection in the mirror.  The reflection more often than not displeases me so I try again.
In the end, I asked myself what I would wear everyday if it magically washed itself at night.
Out of my closet, I found three outfits that fit the bill and have been wearing them once weekly every since.
I have wasted a great amount of money on clothes and now I am a bit gun shy about it. On the up side, I do really notice and evaluate what I see other people wearing from the "ok, if you're taking your child to the playground," to the "all the mirrors in your house must be broken".
Geez people, comb your hair and brush your teeth and hem your pants to the correct length.
Being an extremely (for America) slim woman, I have only recently become acquainted with a local tailor and with very happy results.
My aim now is to own enough outfits to manage seven days of very nice/ clean clothing.
I like to dress in as few colors as possible; three is a lot for me.
To the point, I have found colored bottoms (skirts/pants) to be much less versatile than colored tops.... actually I feel most comfortable in neutrals with a scarf or lipstick for color or no color at all.  I consider leopard a neutral by the way.  The main exception is party dresses where all-over scarlet, turquoise or coral feels appropriate.  

Anyway, I figure that if I can just line up one weeks worth or stylish and beautiful outfits and wear them every week for a month then I can start working, one day at a time on two weeks worth of outfits.
Again, I am close to retirement and this may change what I choose to wear everyday but I hope not too much since my work has a business casual dress code that every woman interprets very differently. 
Recently, I have identified a fashion muse who is similar to me in coloring and stature and that is actually quite inspirational.  Celebrity stocking her online has revealed to me several items I could put to good use in my own wardrobe as well as given me tips about makeup and an objective view of what will and will not look good on me.  For instance, Navy Blue is a horrible choice both for her and me.  I have made the mistake of thinking I needed a navy blue dress after seeing a stunning women in one but something about my coloring makes it look completely wrong.  It is fine for the sallow french.  I made this mistake more than once myself but seeing it on her, how absolutely awkward she looks and compared to so many other colors she can wear well, I absolutely realize that unless I become a sea captain, I need have nothing to do with navy blue.
Let her spend embarrassing amounts of money on clothes.  Someone will always snap a picture of her and post in online.  All I have to do is google her name and I can view the image results which don't lie about what looks good and what doesn't.  The main trouble is finding things I want to wear in colors that suit me.  (Lots of things to wear in colors that don't suit me.) Luckily, tomato red and scarlet are all mine. 
My hope is to pick a spectacular outfit/idea and copy it for myself. 

I love the American spin on French chic. Chic but with washed hair, painted nails, pretty smiles, anyone can look like the slept in the gutter and then put on a suit and pair or heels but you still look like you slept in the gutter.  Kudos to you for not wearing makeup or ever smiling but shiny lips, white teeth and smiles win hearts.

My next purchase will either be a black pair of shoes (1 1/2" pumps, which no one seems to make anymore).  These will definitely be useful but perhaps I could/should look at creating another outfit in my 'best' colors.  Or, perhaps I'll do that next. 

Other things I need include beautiful (real) jewelry and shoes.  That's about it.  As long as I can stick to my plan and purchase things in colors that truly suit me I can always be a shiny, happy person. 

Laying out the Garden

The Garden looks fantastic and it isn't even finished yet.  It is even better than I imagined when I first started planning it last January (2014) while in Florida.   I am sore all over but it is a fantastic feeling.  People always complain about these types of jobs but for me there is nothing better than working in the fresh air and sunshine to build something of worth. 

The only concern I have is how much the flagstone patio will heat up the bedrooms in summer although it will be welcome in winter.  I'll have to figure out how to mitigate that... and how and where to plant wisteria.  We had sand and mulch delivered yesterday afternoon and after one bbq and one birthday party, I am very happy with our progress.  I laid out all the beds and mulched on one half of the yard while K laid weed barrier and moved two tons of sand from the street to the back of the house. 

We still have to level the sand and lay the flagstones but the beds are ready for planting, all 96 square feet of them.  This is a dream come true for me to have such a large space for growing my own food. My goal is to grow and preserve all our own produce in the next two years. K does his own thing with the garden beds and wants two of the six 4x4 plots.  I plan to start with three and fill the last one with sand for k.  There is always room to expand. 
Wish me luck!

Simple Spring Tonic

Pull the cold-weather dandelions from your garden.  Right now before they take over the whole thing or at least before they begin to flower.
Any 'dandelion' that grows in a rosette is fine to eat although people who have latex allergies should avoid those that produce a white 'milk'.   I have no such issues but avoid eating the spiky ones. 
Wait until after a spring shower if possible then gather the leaves all together and yank upwards and slightly to the side to pull the root out.  If spring showers do not coincide with your weeding schedule, you can use a 'weed popper' or a digging stick to loosen the soil around the roots then pull with the same method as above. 
Gather about 10 plants, take them inside, wash the dirt out and remove any dead or damaged leaves.
Allow the plants to rest while you prepare the other tonic ingredients. 
I took the liberty of pulling some fresh mint from an overgrown plot for this tonic. 
To this I add dried spearmint (bulk herbs online), red clover flowers I gathered last year in Winter Park and black tea.
Place all ingredients in a french press or glass jar, cover with boiling water and let steep overnight.
Strain with pressure and add 1 Tbsp honey.
 
Let the the root, leaf and flower power your day and repeat a necessary. 

Warm Black Lentil Salad with Shitake, Goat Cheese and Almonds

Cook black lentils in water and duck or bacon fat for 20 minutes or until tender. 
Saute mushrooms in fat for 5 minutes over medium heat.  Season with add salt and red pepper. 
Drain lentils if needed and place into a bowl, add mushrooms, top with goats cheese and roasted tamari almonds. 
Enjoy this earthy delight.