If I could trade everything I've bought to date for a financially independent future, I would do it in a heartbeat.
If I could start with a clean slate; I would:
only have ~50 items of clothing; everything would fit perfectly
own one suitcase that flies as a carry-on
buy 5 acres of land for a hobby farm and save the proceeds to build a manor house
(alternatively, I'd buy the smallest house on the biggest lot I could find)
invest in rental property to produce a reliable stream of income
find a job I could work remotely
This is so hard; I seem to be lacking focus today
If I could already be done; if there were something I could do other than wait, I would be doing it already.
Perhaps there is something I just don't see.
It's only 139k more steps until the finish line but the first 210 or so has taken a toll and I am back to feeling this untoward sense of dread that my finances are not all I could wish of them.
So, I can't start over but I can still strive to attain my goal. Perhaps I need to look at the numbers for perspective.
Let's see, in 2006, I bought the albatross for 282k, paying 2800 per month for the mortgage.
In 2008, my mortgage payment escalated to 3000 with higher rates to come.
I sought to refinance and given my limited knowledge and time (I had to work to earn that 3k), I ended up with a bunk refinance job that essentially put me into debtor's prison via a foreclosure on my credit report, despite holding on to the house and debt and paying as agreed for all but the 3 months it took for the company to take my pleas seriously.
After an additional 30k in fees, the loan was back on paper and I was still paying at least 60% of my salary for the mortgage.
In 2009, I rolled up my sleeves, stopped whining and decided to banish this bane as soon as possible. To that end, I paid off my car loan and a modest amount of credit card debt (3k). I then dedicated 80% of my salary and any additional money (TDY stints) to pay off this mortgage.
The rest is history, as they say. I've been doing this for the past five years and it is getting tiring. It isn't not spending money that is the problem. Everything I 'want' could be purchased with less than a single paycheck. I've even made a nice little list for you to read:
Vitamix Blender $500
Brewing Supplies $200
Pressure Canner $300
Canning Supplies $50
Box Grater $20
Stock Pot $50
I couldn't spend all the money I earn in a month if I tried. Even if I bought all the clothing I dreamed of, that would still fit into the same paycheck with a only one or two exceptions. Other than that, I desire some unnamed intangibles; to-be defined accomplishments, journeys, trials and travails.
Five years and one beautiful baby later, I'm married, employed in my
chosen field, a mother, and yet, yearning for... something...adventure?
travel? connection? freedom? self-expression?
I am on this journey, putting one foot in front of the other and will keep walking until I reach my destination. Then what happens?
So what is the rub? I am unfulfilled and uninspired by my job; my enthusiasm a dull shadow of what I once felt for the field I work in. Another unfortunate case of reality getting in the way of my dreams. What is the solution?
First, I need to define the problem.
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Tuesday, April 7, 2015
Spring Capsule Wardrobe
Now Presenting my official Capsule Wardrobe for Spring (March 1st - June 1st):
Clothing
Shoes and Accessories
First, a few notes about the accessories. I don't have a purse but carry my wallet with a ribbon tied to the zipper. The wallet is large enough to cram my phone inside and makes a sleek clutch for hoity-toity evening dinners at the local Mexican restaurant. I wear the visor every day. I wear it in the car since my commute places me in direct opposition to the rising and setting sun. I wear it on my twice-daily strolls. I absolutely love it and am toying with the idea of obtaining another straw hat for daily use. What ever happened to the utility of clothing anyway? I have several types of scarves. Most of them sit around in a canvas bin. I don't know how many I've worn thus far but I'll go on record as having worn a few although I doubt it was that many. I am not an accessories girl but I would be if gloves become a socially acceptable means of self-expression or a genteel form of politeness and propriety once again. The shoes all get worn in their appropriate places (on my feet); no sandals at work and no stuffy loafers on the weekend. Finally, I need hosiery. Two to three pairs of nude hose ought to set me up completely but I have yet to purchase. It feels good to waffle in contemplation and indecision as long as possible since I have to buy new.
The shocking thing is that I don't even wear all these clothes unless I try very hard. For example, I've worn the white skirt once since creating this capsule five weeks ago. Noticing this, I plan to wear the skirt tomorrow but not for lack of other clothing. The silk shirt dress has never been worn outside the front of my mirror. It is at the tailor's acquiring a more modest length to make it appropriate for work and bicycle riding. The white blouse, cardigan and sweater only just arrived last week and the knits are on heavy rotation for days when it is cold enough but there aren't many. The wool dress is also too warm for most days, when the temperature is above 60 degrees. It is best kept for winter and retired after in February. I am having a dressmaker create a second shirt dress for me. This will replace the wool dress as soon as it is ready. I love shirt dresses because they are so effortlessly feminine and appropriate for practically any occasion. Speaking of occasions, I also have two party dresses which obviously don't make it into the heavy rotation and aren't listed here. One was worn for my daughter's birthday and the other for Easter brunch and egg hunting with the family.
This month will no doubt fly by like the others and I will revise my wardrobe at the end of May with a view to summer. By then, I hope to have acquired a second-hand khaki skirt to replace the khaki pants which are too pale and drab for me.
This capsule will be refined as time goes on. However, I do no plan to deviate from this template of ~20 clothing items with 10 being the ideal, assuming I can get someone else to do all my household chores for me. I do not wish to own more clothes than listed here. I think, perhaps owning fewer clothes would be even better. If I won the lottery, I'd still try to wear these clothes out before even looking for a second-hand replacement.
Clothing
- Trench coat
- Silk Shirt Dress
- Wool Dress (too warm)
- White Skirt
- Green Skirt
- Khaki pants
- Jeans
- Beige Cardigan
- Teal Sweater
- Gray t-shirt
- Olive-khaki t-shirt
- White Blouse
- Political Party Blouse
Shoes and Accessories
- Straw Visor
- Black loafers
- Leopard flats
- Espadrilles
- Leather Sandals
- Brown belt
- scarves (2)
- Leather Tote
- Sunglasses
- Canvas Shoes (Tom's if anybody cares)
- Baseball cap
- Old Jeans
- Faded Button down
- Mesh shorts
- Tank top
First, a few notes about the accessories. I don't have a purse but carry my wallet with a ribbon tied to the zipper. The wallet is large enough to cram my phone inside and makes a sleek clutch for hoity-toity evening dinners at the local Mexican restaurant. I wear the visor every day. I wear it in the car since my commute places me in direct opposition to the rising and setting sun. I wear it on my twice-daily strolls. I absolutely love it and am toying with the idea of obtaining another straw hat for daily use. What ever happened to the utility of clothing anyway? I have several types of scarves. Most of them sit around in a canvas bin. I don't know how many I've worn thus far but I'll go on record as having worn a few although I doubt it was that many. I am not an accessories girl but I would be if gloves become a socially acceptable means of self-expression or a genteel form of politeness and propriety once again. The shoes all get worn in their appropriate places (on my feet); no sandals at work and no stuffy loafers on the weekend. Finally, I need hosiery. Two to three pairs of nude hose ought to set me up completely but I have yet to purchase. It feels good to waffle in contemplation and indecision as long as possible since I have to buy new.
The shocking thing is that I don't even wear all these clothes unless I try very hard. For example, I've worn the white skirt once since creating this capsule five weeks ago. Noticing this, I plan to wear the skirt tomorrow but not for lack of other clothing. The silk shirt dress has never been worn outside the front of my mirror. It is at the tailor's acquiring a more modest length to make it appropriate for work and bicycle riding. The white blouse, cardigan and sweater only just arrived last week and the knits are on heavy rotation for days when it is cold enough but there aren't many. The wool dress is also too warm for most days, when the temperature is above 60 degrees. It is best kept for winter and retired after in February. I am having a dressmaker create a second shirt dress for me. This will replace the wool dress as soon as it is ready. I love shirt dresses because they are so effortlessly feminine and appropriate for practically any occasion. Speaking of occasions, I also have two party dresses which obviously don't make it into the heavy rotation and aren't listed here. One was worn for my daughter's birthday and the other for Easter brunch and egg hunting with the family.
This month will no doubt fly by like the others and I will revise my wardrobe at the end of May with a view to summer. By then, I hope to have acquired a second-hand khaki skirt to replace the khaki pants which are too pale and drab for me.
This capsule will be refined as time goes on. However, I do no plan to deviate from this template of ~20 clothing items with 10 being the ideal, assuming I can get someone else to do all my household chores for me. I do not wish to own more clothes than listed here. I think, perhaps owning fewer clothes would be even better. If I won the lottery, I'd still try to wear these clothes out before even looking for a second-hand replacement.
Thursday, April 2, 2015
why does it take so much?
It is an ugly paradox that only those with an overabundance of money can fully realize its limited utility in life whereas those with a limited supply never fully grasp the concept. Thus you have the poor and disenfranchized buying more and more new things at WalMart, trying hard to keep food (of questionable definition) on the table while those with an oversupply are able to transcend its limitations and free themselves from the yoke of
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