In which I realize I am a Terrible Employee

I see the end of the road and the end is motivating but the road seems too long. 

Some days/weeks it is hard to find the motivation to keep going but when I think about it I have no other choice but to finish.  I have a massive mortgage to pay down and beyond the basics, I have very little use for money.  I have a job that pays well and that I enjoy well enough for what it is.  If I wasn't buying a rental property, I'd park all my money in the bank anyway. 

Even with a clear goal in mind and a five-hundred mile journey behind me, I have come to realize that while most days my job is fine, it leaves a huge hole in my life.  Time I could be walking, standing, feeling the breeze on my face, writing, gardening, sleeping...pretty much anything besides working.  I don't particularly like/trust/respect my boss(es), and I have several.  A few of them are alright but no one I'd befriend under different circumstances (well, perhaps one, but he is not the one in charge).  The problem is, I just don't care.  I don't want to overachieve and be responsible for fixing a million things, convincing people to change their minds, explaining myself over and over.  I'd rather talk to people who already get it or have the latitude (and altitude?) to show people what I mean rather than arguing in endless circles.  I don't care to work 70+ hours per week, besides for the money and if I didn't need that, I'd tell them to pound sand. 

I want to learn more about primitive living, test my mettle against the Colorado Trail, spend all day at the park.  I want to do a million things that don't pay and if they could earn something, I'm not interested in selling my time/ideas/effort/work for money at the moment. 

I need a break, yes but, I need to find the motivation to get through these next 852 days, break or no break.  The motivation to shorten that time span is there.  I feel like I can only squeeze a few more dollars out of my budget but over the course of 2.5 years only adds up to ~$3000.  Does that really make a difference?  That is half of one normal payment... to gain financial independence two weeks earlier.  Is that really worth it? 

I don't feel deprived by my lifestyle at all.  I'd have the same budget under any circumstances.  The problem is I still (four years later) lack the freedom I desire. 

I even lack the freedom to find another job in a different field.  It would be hard to replace my current salary and I see earning anything less as protracting an undesirable situation. 

Perhaps I will look for another job in this field with higher pay.  If I am selling my life, I may as well go to the highest bidder.